WARNING!
The following Story Notice is of a highly contentious and thoroughly dubious nature. Neither its origins, authenticity, nor authorship can be confirmed or corroborated. Please treat with all due circumspection. We honestly do not know how it got on this site.
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The Kyivunedited Secret Editorial Board
STORY NOTICE: Saint Stephan Signs Smear Job on Half Guinea
Concerned Reader: Really … I mean really … What can we expect next from these people?
Angry Observer: Well, nothing good about the Half Guinea, that’s for sure.
Concerned Reader: Just two or three frames earlier, we read that the Half Guinea was apprehended by some sort of law-enforcement officials and, by the looks of it, beaten into submission.
Angry Observer: That’s right. So, he’s just an ordinary guy … sleazy, maybe, but not some kind of a demon in possession of supernatural powers.
Concerned: That’s what I thought, too. Until Saint Stephan starts filing reports.
Angry: It’s like he got tired of being written about and decided to do the writing himself.
Concerned: Never liked him as a character and I like him even less as a contributor.
Angry: I hear you. First, he’s supposedly murdered – remember, way back in 2013. Then he’s on the run …
Concerned: With someone trying to murder him again. What a fuck. He thinks the whole saga is about him.
Angry: Classic egoist, if you ask me.
Concerned: And an anti-Semite, as well. Did you catch that bit about “The Great Big Jew”?
Angry: Completely gratuitous.
Concerned: I’ll say. And Italians don’t get a much better shake on this site.
Angry: I don’t have a problem with that. I just don’t like the way the Hunched Cornish just sort of appears at the end of this three-framer as a kind of only adult in the room. I mean, he and the Guinea are both real freaks, but the Guinea gets dissed as …
Concerned: As a “Circus Clown”.
Angry: That’s right – and that doesn’t mean Bread and Circus, either. If you’ve been following this site as long as I have, then you would know that the Guinea has always been described as some kind of Roman soldier that never died, which I thought was kind of cool.
Concerned: Yeah … and one that was always trying to fuck black chicks.
Angry: And that, too. But calling him a “Circus Clown” is just over the top, if you ask me.
Concerned: And Kowalski looks like a first-class sissy.
Angry: He always was, really.
Concerned: Maybe, but I’d say more of a nerdy wimp.
Angry: And why would the Half Guinea go to all this trouble to torture the Ferret – who’s supposed to be already dead, by the way.
Concerned: It’s like they can’t let dead Ferrets lie on this site.
Angry: Saint Stephan can’t, anyway.
Concerned: Who made him a writer, anyway?
Angry: He’s got the same write as anyone else …
Concerned: How would you know, you cannot even spell “right” right …
Angry: Fuck you.
Concerned: I’ll bet your favorite character is Welsh Losser, you piece of
Our Apologies: The remainder of this thread has been abrogated due to its contentious nature and propensity to incite intolerance and violence.
Our Sincerest Apologies,
The Kyiv Unedited Secret Editorial Board