Referring to The Hunched Cornish’s moderately anti-Semitic, “The Hunched Cornish’s New-York Bagel – from last year. A review spliced from meaningless notes, scraps of faded memory”
When the secret editorial board of Kyiv Unedited, which are the invisible force controlling the editors of the said publication, which in turn are supposed to control the writers, found out that The Hunched Cornish had gotten past the censors with the following regarding the edible contents of New-York Bagel, an aisle-thin café appended to Kyiv’s main synagogue (a Jewish house of worship) on Shota Rustaveli Street, it was shocked:
“And… a Webronsky bagel(???), with a type of goat cheese apparently called something like Webr(???), or was it perhaps Weber(???)…
“Webronsky… Webronsky?!? That’s what the notes seem to say, but The Hunched Cornish doesn’t remember and ultimately can’t vouch for the verity of this information. Keeping the Kabbalah in mind, you may do well to find out for yourselves.”
Alas – it is not a Webronsky bagel, nor does it sell for 47 hryvnias, as noted in that review, although Kyiv Unedited does see some historical value in the correctly documented price from a year earlier for this meat-less bagel-licious nosh; bigger than a morsel, smaller than a meal.
As of early springtime 2013, there are UAH 52 and 57 versions of this thoroughly enjoyable comestible, the more expensive one having more fillings, like peppers, according to the menu, piled on the starring ingredient.
And that ingredient, avid, competent readers of Kyiv Unedited, and especially our Jewish friends, is chevre, which is goat cheese and goat in French.
Thus, the name of this offering from New-York Bagel is Chevransky, or, more phonetically in English, Shevransky, and not Webronsky.
Apparently, The Hunched Cornish, when reading over his notes from last year, mistook the Sh letter in Cyrillic for a W in English, and the Cyrillic V letter for an English B, although it is beyond us why he also didn’t mistake the Cyrillic R letter for an English P, but somehow got the R exactly right. Of course, if he had written a P, then it would be the even more ludicrous Webponsky (as opposed to Webronsky) bagel. We figure, The Hunched Cornish probably figured he had been jotting his notes down in mixed Cyrillic and English and so logically, as for him, concluded that the P couldn’t be an English P but was the Cyrillic P-looking letter of the Byzantine world we know in the English-language world as R, because phonetically, how can you have a P following a B?
But enough about The Cornish freak. We’re doing everything we can to fire that malevolent chimerical Pantagruelian abomination. Although we realize that may be a problem.
Kyiv Unedited Editorial Board, April 18, 2013