But what about The Ferret?
PERSONAE NON GRATAE:
Same as in Part 2, except no Kid, plus, we are reminded that The Ferret is rattling in a cage
Pros: Okay, Sundance… answering that one little question about being a Jew set off quite a series of reactions in the courtroom. Now let’s see what happens with the follow-ups.
Sun: Yes, let’s.
Pros: Have you heard about the online news magazine Kyiv Unedited?
Sun: Yes.
Pros: Do you read it?
Sun: Yes, I read it.
Pros: Now, would you say it is in any way a racist publication.
Sun: Yes, it’s a blatantly racist publication.
Pros: And within that racism, as a Jew, would you say it is as equally blatantly anti-Semitic as it is blatantly racist in general.
Sun: No. It’s only moderately anti-Semitic.
DC Losser: Your Dishonor! Where’s all this leading? If the court enjoys having it’s time indulged, I can regale it with descriptions of my new book, “Sixty Seconds to Coming Up in the Busi –”
Pub: Yeah, right! Hang it up, you one-eyed toad. It’s going somewhere. Damn, this is fascinating!
Pros: Thank you, Your Dishonor. Now, Sundance, speaking as a Jew, and representative of your people, is it possible that other Jews who read Kyiv Unedited hold a different opinion as to the degrees of overall racism and anti-Semitism held within that publication?
Sun: No, it’s not.
Pros: Well then, is the following scenario possible: a black person reads Kyiv Unedited and finds it outrageously anti-Semitic but only mildly racist and offensive to himself in general, if at all?
Sun: Yes.
Pros: Very well. Now, is it possible that what you see as that publication’s blatant racism appear quite funny and not racist at all to another person?
Sun: Do you mean the black person or someone like him, or a regular white one?
Pros: Oh, I’m sorry, Sundance. I mean the black person.
Sun: Yes, it’s possible.
Pros: And if you were confronted by that person on this topic, what would you say to him, for example?
Sun: I’d say: You’re entitled to your opinion.
Pros: I see, Sundance. But would you tell him he’s wrong?
Sun: Yes. I mean… I don’t know. Maybe. I’m not sure.
Pros: I see, Sundance. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. And were you sure why you fired Saint Stephan?
DC Losser: Objection, Your Dishonor! This is getting into pure speculation. There is absolutely no connection whatsoever – and I defy the Prosecution to prove such a connection – between the degrees of the variety of racisms that Seth Sundance perceives in that filthy online ersatz literary magazine Kyiv Unedited, which is a highly personal matter, unless we start applying legal tests and standards here and now, although I don’t see why we should, to come to a more law-based and objective view of the matter – damn, I’m good sometimes, nyug-nyioh-neyooo – and his firing of Stephan, whose spirit, by the way, seems to be disturbingly resurgent in said magazine.
Pub: Overruled! Pure speculation is what’s going to make or break this damn case. Do you have anything to add to that, Counsel for the Prosecution?
Pros: Ah, yes I do; and that is: Au contraire to what that lumpy self-deluding walleyed gravel-voiced lying pedophile-looking ice cream-vending resume-enhancing and creepily sick-minded freak, who is most assuredly no writer by any stretch of anyone’s imagination, legal standards be damned (jets of scalding steam gush out of Losser’s ears), the Prosecution will presently show that whereas the legendary Seth Sundance’s perceptions of racism regarding the Kyiv Unedited website are indeed personal, albeit perhaps skewed somewhat by the whole Jewish thing, not only did his decision to fire Stephan have little, if anything, to do with his being a Jew, but it was also not a personal decision by any measure that can be applied, either in this court or outside it… for… Seth Sundance’s decision was the result of a profound, complex, and intricate web of deceitful manipulation by an insidious force operating, as a mole, if you will, within the Kyiv Poster, who was looking to do as little work as possible for the paper while controlling it as though it were his personal project from a position of no managerial responsibility lower than the chief editor’s, which he, or it, thought would then be equated with no culpability in Saint Stephan’s firing murder!
The courtroom crowd gasps. Judge Publowsky gets up and does a premature victory dance, pumping his arms into his stomach while lifting a knee, going, Yeeesss, yeeesss, yeeesss, as The Ferret, rattling his cage, is going, HEEEHH, HEEEHH, HEEEHH…
Pros: Moreover, Your Dishonor, I will also show that the legendary Seth Sundance WANTED the manipulation!
The courtroom crowd rises in a near riotous uproar. Judge Publoswky takes out his Hunched Cornish lunch box and blithely starts stuffing one sandwich into his mouth after another. This goes on for about an hour until the courtroom spectators have tired out and settled down again.
Jack Step: Damn, I can’t believe this courtroom drama is so long that I now have to end this part and go on to Part 4.
Filed by Jack Step, April 22, 2013