We are humbled… no-o-o-o-o-t…
Kyiv Unedited:
Forgive me, please. To answer the way you put it in your second letter to me, it wasn’t that I WAS too busy to answer you, or that I WASN’T busy at all but just decided to ignore you. In putting things that way, I must say you really DID jump to conclusions even though you said that was not something that you were doing.
But the truth of the matter is, I simply wasn’t around to answer your letters at all.
Don’t you think, KYIV UNEDITED, that, with someone like me, not being around to do one thing, most likely because I was elsewhere doing some OTHER thing, is a distinct possibility?
And another distinct possibility, which you clearly did not take into consideration, thinking, no doubt only about yourselves and your own ego, is that I never got your letters at all?
Huh, KYIV UNEDITED? Maybe you could use some of the same tone you used with me – see how it feels.
Well, sorry for taking this tough tone with you, but after you issued so many challenges, I thought it only fair to issue a few of my own – especially as in this case I feel completely justified in doing so… and completely, I may add, in the right.
And besides, don’t forget, you’re dealing with ME, David Lynch.
Well, okay. Be that as it may, I just wanted to get that off my chest and let you know.
As for your Kyiv Commix and the creative and artistic strides you purport to be making in literature, I’m well aware of them, having once or twice perused some portions of your materials on the Kyiv Unedited website.
Here is my understanding of your concept and what you’re attempting to do thus far:
Thus, in order of magnitude, there are frames, frameworks, and framescapes (the last of which, as of this letter, do not exist yet). Collaboration in the project between authors never takes place on the level of any of these units, as each work is individually written by one author. Rather, the collaboration takes place on the level of mutual influence and ideas between and among authors, so that while each author at Kyiv Unedited writes their own pieces, yet each uses the same characters and parts of descriptions, situations, and storylines that any one of the authors has conjured. One of the results of this has been that you have all jumped, in a manner of speaking, in and out of each other’s works. Another has been that the same characters can have multiple fates, or can be killed many times over only to reappear again in the next frame.
By the way, Lynch Wear is a great idea! Wonder why I never thought of it myself. Thanks for that! Will be getting started on design concepts right away. It’ll sure beat making furniture.
I think we may have something to talk about, as I will be traveling to Kyiv very soon.
In the course of my stay in Kyiv, I will be meeting with the only reliable English-language Western-style contact point my staff and I were able to come across, that being Mr. Bret Boner, Chief Editor of the Kyiv Poster.
In a preliminary phone call to Mr. Boner to alert him of our plans, we must say we found Mr. Boner cordial, highly accommodating, yet very much a man in charge and a true and tough newsman of the highest journalistic credentials and news reporting ethic (as proven by the Mississippi Medal for Merit in Media won by the Kyiv Poster with Mr. Boner at the helm, steering the Kyiv Poster ship through the roughest waters indeed, with the war there, and all) as well as a dedicated leader of the democracy, rule of law, transparency, anti-corruption, and freedom of speech and the press efforts being made on behalf of an embattled, lost, and – let’s just admit it – somewhat wayward Ukraine.
But that’s not the point.
The point is, I’ll try to talk to Mr. Boner about your Team 17, defected through your own fault to the Kyiv Poster – as I found their little joke in that first letter to me regarding “Dune” a very good one, tastefully done, and quite amusing, actually, given the context – and negotiate their return to Kyiv Unedited. Over a lifetime of dealing with people, I found I’m good at that sort of thing. I can’t predict what Mr. Boner will think about it, but as they say, we’ll see.
To answer another of your smarmy sounding questions, Bret Boner is indeed our main contact point (as I’ve already mentioned) in helping us in a variety of efforts that he will have his Kyiv Poster staff embark upon to set up one of my Transcontinental Meditation workshops and clinics in the center of downtown Kyiv. Mr. Boner says he knows of a number of great locations and the people behind them, as he lives right there in the city center and lunches, dines, cocktail parties, nightclubs, gala events, and interviews [with] these people all the time.
As for myself, if this letter hasn’t made the point clear by now, I am mostly making the trip to Kyiv to personally open a Lynch People Transcontinental Meditation outlet there.
That’s how much I believe in what my Lynch People Establishment does, and how important it is to me!!!
We are, of course, very concerned, because we fully understand just how much the Ukrainians are suffering today and how much they need our help, with the war there, and all. We strongly believe that one of our Lynch People Transcontinental Meditation centers will be just the thing for them!
For artistic purposes, I will also be wanting to see the quickly gentrifying bohemian Podil District of Kyiv, its collection of small 1,000-year-old Byzantine churches, and the spine-chilling part of that district along the Dnipro River (with the riverfront drive and bridges, and all), as well as Kyiv’s left bank on the river’s other side, and particularly Darnytsya (the Metro there and the French café just across from it – Frenchy’s, I think it’s called).
However, as I said, getting back to the creative theme of this letter, which I was reminded of by the preceding paragraph I just wrote, I did indeed find a few of your Kyiv Commix works potentially interesting and propose we can set up a meeting of some sort, when I have some time, through one of my agents, to talk about them. Who knows, maybe it’ll turn out we can indeed collaborate on one thing or another. It’s altogether possible, for example, I may be able to use one of your story ideas for an episode of… [text of Lynch letter becomes unclear here – Kyiv Unedited Secret Editorial Board]
But, of course, I make no promises.
If you like Chinese, as I do, very, very much, in fact, then maybe we could get together for a few hours over a pupu platter and some wine at one of the fine Chinese establishments I hear you have there in Kyiv. Mr. Boner, who, it turns out, is an expert and connoisseur on the subject, has already suggested a number of them, especially recommending one place just around the corner from where he lives (as reviewed by him in the Kyiv Poster, of which I have filed a copy on my smartphone – great review!).
Here are my most up-to-date and most likely to succeed contact coordinates – 1234567890
More in the enclosure
Filed by David Lynch, February 25, 2016