The Ferret, The Ferret, heh, heh, heh-heh-heh, climbing up the glass of steel buildings on cloven hooves, vampire corpse perpendicular to the wall, pointing his shoulders blades out under his hunched jacket like vestigial reptile wings for balance, honing the tiny sonar echo-chamber brain in on the opaque secrets of oligarchs, hammering his consulting banner into their windows with six-inch nails, cracking them – heh, heh, they said I could do it, yeah, yeah, heh-heh-heh…
There it is – fluttering in the fierce Kyiv winter squalls, 21 stories above street level, something like 10-12 meters across, in huge red letters: News Consulting Services, Reasonable Fees. Heh-Heh-Heh.
Ferret diatribes, Ferret lies, Ferret denials, double talk, shifty vacillations, leading questions, equivocations, underhanded surmises, behind-the-back scheming with fair-weather friends, convenient for the moment, backstabbing, undermining, usurpation, I didn’t do it, no, no, it wasn’t me, that’s a lie, I never said that, you misunderstood, it was your own fault, I never set you up, no, yeah, heh-heh… Lies, shifting around, shifty eyes, back and forth, hidden motives, conscious obfuscation, slippery dodges, run-on sentences, non-sequiturs, weasel words, bad grammar, staid and hackneyed phrases, built-in and automatic contradictions, just in case, accidental double entendres, Ferret weasels, also rats, skunks, and moles, Ferret faces, Ferret Fuckface, fucking Ferret, no, no, it wasn’t me, yeah, sure it wasn’t, no, no, heh-heh, no, no, no…
Ferret orthopedic shoes covering cloven hooves, walking up walls perpendicularly without ropes, hooks, or pulleys, sneaking into windows, turtle-shell back covering spineless frame, falling 21 stories and landing on his back without getting hurt – heh-heh-heh, nothing can hurt me; having a cigarette contemplating his fall, somewhat capable of shallow selfish reflection.
Ferret clothing, puppet pants and tailor-made turtleneck shirts specially fitted to the humped body, worn wool jacket cut out of a cereal box pulled over the entire grotesquerie, hiding also the breasts growing out of a once boyish chest, spinning yarns, hunched-down neck pulling in a cigarette, pulling the wool over others’ eyes, purposely losing the thread of the argument and deftly picking it up again on the other side of the burning lake to his own advantage, weaving the nets of deception and casting them over the night-tormented hovels of basement bars, spreading rumors like tumors, taking advantage of naive, gullible, drunken slobs, making promises and going back on his word.
Ferret accoutrements, Ferret noises, Ferret sounds, Ferret smells, Ferret ways, Ferret things, Ferret bags with obsolete Ferret databases and special Ferret supplies, liquids, solids, nourishments of every Ferret kind, dug up in secret far-off tunnels under Kyiv hills, heh-heh, disturbing Ferret genealogies and terrifying Ferret fears come true – world takeover by armies of Ferrets, delusions of grandeur and top-of-the-heap hype become everyone else’s desperate, insane reality, taken over and controlled by Ferrets.
Yeah, heh, heh, heh-heh-heh…
Cannabis, poison pills, snowdrops that bark too loud, acid bars, Ferret bars, bars of desiccated Ferret soap, debased soap, degenerate soap, dissolving, disintegrating, degrading, making Ferret filth not clean, lies, double dealing, contumely, hatred, contempt…
Drunken Ferret vitamins and cigarette smoke, the screeching of the leeches The Ferret’s only friends, two of a kind, three of a pair, the pots that call the kettles black, the it-takes-one-to-know-ones, the mosquito brains, the suckers who sting, the gangrene spreaders, leaving bites that leave you limbless…
Heh, I never said that, no, no, that’s a lie, you’re misquoting me, no, you’re taking it out of context, I never spoke to him about you, I did, but it wasn’t what you said it was, heh-heh, you’re talking out your ass, it’s not what you think, heh-heh, heh-heh, heh-heh, no…
Worn Ferret jackets, parachute pants that come up to the chest with a pull of a string, orthopedic shoes covering cloven hooves, climbing perpendicularly up walls, no ropes, no hooks, no pulleys, yeah, yeah, heh-heh-heh, it’s not true, it’s not true…
More to follow…
Filed by Jack Step, January 30, 2013